Control You Page 11

  “No, it wasn’t,” Eva insisted. She released me and spun me to face her.

  Pressing my palms into my eyes, I felt the cold prickles of panic shoot through my chest and outward. “No, I don’t think I can do this yet. I’m not ready.”

  “Look at me,” she bit out. Her hands gripped my wrists and I jumped, the touch on my scar seeming heightened. “Look at me, Cam. Now.”

  I opened my eyes and stared into her ocean blue ones. “You can do this. It’s time, okay? You need to do this for closure. You’re stronger now than you were a year ago.”

  Tears pricked the corners of my eyes. Eva was the only girl to ever see me cry and me not give a fuck, because I knew it didn’t diminish her view of my manhood at all.

  “Eva, I fucking don’t think I can. I’m seeing the same shit again.” I gripped my wrist and pressed it firmly to my chest as though it were an open wound again and I was attempting to stop the bleeding like that night.

  “Stop it, Cam.” Her voice was calm, but severe. It was exactly the tone I needed from her. “It’s okay. That was the past and this is now. You’ve got this. I’m here with you. Let’s pack this box together, okay? We’ll do their room last this time.”

  My heart thudded in my throat, and my stomach churned at the mention of my parents’ bedroom. I’d attempted to start in there last time, and had only emptied out their dresser and one nightstand before I started in heavily on the drugs and alcohol I’d brought to see me through the process. I was high as a kite and eaten up with emotions while packing their things. When I went to chop out my next line, the razorblade looked more appealing to be used in another way.

  “Kitchen, Cam, pots and pans, dishes, silverware—you can do this.” Her voice took on a coaxing tone. It pulled me from my thoughts and forced me to look at her and her alone. “Let’s get some decent music on and get to it.” She left me standing there, taking all the warmth with her. I felt the coldness pressing on my mind sweep through my body again.

  Leaning against the counter, I tipped my head back to glance at the ceiling. I pulled some measured breaths into my lungs, and then exhaled. Fishing in my pocket, I pulled out my pack of cigarettes and lit one. The Sublime song that had been playing stopped abruptly and Nerd’s Lap Dance blasted through her tiny speakers. I rubbed my face with my hand and felt the hint of a smile twist at the corners of my lips.

  “There you go, loosen up, smile,” she shouted over the music. “Let the beat into your soul, baby.”

  “Whoa, wait a minute. Did you just call me baby?” I chuckled.

  “I did.”

  “Thought you didn’t like pet names.”

  She cocked her head to the side and smiled at me. “I don’t, but I felt like using one to get a rise out of you. From the grin on your face right now, I can see that it worked.”

  My grin grew. Damn, she really knew how to get me out of a funk. I walked over to where she stood and pulled her in for a hug. “I’m so fucking glad you’re here with me right now.”

  Eva rubbed her hands across my back and let me hold her for a moment. “I know. I’m glad you let me come with you this time.”

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  PAIGE

  “What’s that?” Holly stared at the doodle I’d been creating for the last thirty minutes. “Are you drawing the inside of a store?” Her nose scrunched up and I smiled.

  “I am. It’s a sketch of the clothing store I’m planning on opening in a few months.” I didn’t want to say weeks just yet, because I wasn’t sure how things would go. I really needed to sit down and figure things out.

  “You’re going to open a clothing store? What kind?” There was excitement in her voice, and I soaked it up and fed off it.

  “It’s going to be a brand-name consignment shop. I’ve got a place secured over on Westhills. I just need to figure out the details of the place now.” Exhilaration flowed through my veins, and my mind buzzed with anticipation as I said the words aloud.

  The bell above the door rang. I glanced up to see our tenth customer of the morning walk in—it was Craig. He’d dropped me off earlier, and then said he’d be back after he ran a few errands for his mom.

  “Hey.” He leaned against the counter and flashed me a charming smile.

  I waited for it to reach the corners of his eyes before I returned it, trying to decide if it was genuine or if he was still upset with me about last night. He hadn’t spoken more than two words to me on the ride from his parents’ place to my car. My staying over last night hadn’t remedied the argument as I’d intended.

  “So, do I get a discount on my coffee because I date the cashier?” he joked, and I felt myself relax.

  “I think something could be worked out.” I leaned closer toward him and pecked him on the lips, glad he didn’t seem pissed still. “What do you want?”

  He played with the top part of the apron I wore. “You.”

  “Sorry, sir, but I’m not on the menu until after hours.”

  His eyes flashed. “Guess I’ll have to wait, then.”

  I brushed my lips across his again and heard Holly clear her throat behind me. “Mom’s here. She won’t like you flirting like that. Just saying.”

  Glancing out the glass door, I spotted Bev, the owner, making her way inside. She wore an Enticing Aroma shirt and had her hair twisted into a high bun. Holly had mentioned she would be coming in today sometime to make all the pastries and such for the following week.

  “Thanks.” I straightened my back and smiled at Craig. There was no way this woman was going to find a damn thing wrong with how I was doing my job here. I needed this job; the fate of my store rested on its shoulders. Slipping the notebook I’d been doodling on in my apron pocket, I locked eyes with Craig. “So, what can I get you?”

  “I’ll take a dark roast espresso of some sort, surprise me.” He flashed me a shit-eating grin. Why couldn’t he have just ordered something easy, something he knew I could make—like a coffee black with two sugars and some damn half-and-half?

  Hadn’t that been close to what Cameron had ordered last night? Cameron. Shit, I really hoped he didn’t come in to visit me today.

  “All right.” I glanced at Holly, ready to hear her ideas for his drink, but she was already deep in conversation with her mom. To interrupt would mean to show how incompetent I was when it came to making things for people. I searched the variety of espressos we had for something labeled dark roast, and let out a sigh of relief when I spotted one. “How about an Italian dark roast espresso?”

  “Sounds lovely,” Craig replied in a low voice. I could feel his eyes on me. They made my heart thump loudly, but in a good way.

  After successfully figuring out how to use the machine I’d seen Holly use a million times the night before, a jolt of pride flittered through me and a smile came to my face.

  “Here you go. An Italian dark roast espresso.” I placed the cup in front of Craig and met his stare.

  “What time do you get off?” He leaned across the counter and grabbed a napkin from beside the register to wipe away the little drop sliding down the side of the cup.

  “I only work until two today.”

  He handed me a five and I took it. “Keep the change and I’ll be right over here, waiting for you until you get off.”

  Was he serious? That was a few hours away. “Okay.”

  I watched him walk to a table against the wall near the windows, and sit. He pulled out a chair, facing me, and propped his feet up in the one across from him. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he began messing with it and sipping his piping hot coffee. He was serious. He planned on staying here until I got off work at two. What the hell? My shoulders grew stiff and I took in a deep breath to relax. Was he keeping tabs on me now or something?

  * * * *

  At two o’clock Craig watched me clock out from where he sat. The entire time I’d been working, I’d felt as though I were part of the witness protection program with my bodyguard on alert and waiting in the wings s
hould something go down. It was an unsettling feeling, and the more I thought about it, the more pissed off I became.

  “Are you hungry?” Craig placed his hand at the small of my back as we walked out of the shop and toward the parking lot.

  I cut my eyes to meet with his. “Was that really necessary?”

  “Was what?” he asked.

  There was nothing I hated more than when someone played the stupid card with me. It boiled my blood and was one of the few things that would instantly set me off. “For you to sit and watch me the entire time I worked?”

  He grinned and fished around in his front pocket for his keys. “I didn’t watch you the entire time. I checked my email, got on Facebook, and played a few games for a while too.”

  Folding my arms across my chest, I glared at him. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

  “I get what you meant, and yeah…maybe it was necessary.”

  “What?” I scoffed, unbelieving he’d just admitted that.

  Craig twirled his keys around on his finger and locked his brown eyes with mine. They became dark and menacing, exactly as they had when we’d fought in the parking lot last night. “I said maybe it was. Every time I leave you alone, Cameron magically appears at your side, even though you claim there isn’t anything going on between the two of you.”

  My stomach twisted. I’d just stirred a bee’s nest. “There isn’t. There wasn’t any reason for you to watch me while I worked. Don’t you trust me?”

  “Of course I trust you; I just don’t trust him.” He started across the parking lot, leaving me standing there. “Let’s get something to eat. I’m starved.” His voice had taken on a softer, lighter tone. I wondered for a split-second if he was actually bipolar and I was just now realizing it.

  “Umm, actually, I think I’m going to head to my place and chill out for the rest of the day. I’m pretty tired and I haven’t spent much time with Blaire lately.” I walked to where he stood. “How about we meet up later tonight for dinner or a movie?”

  Maybe I just needed a bit of a Craig break. If I took some time to myself, then maybe he wouldn’t seem so overbearing and controlling with everything he said lately.

  “Tired, right.” His eyes narrowed as though he didn’t believe me. “I was thinking of having a few people over later. Do you wanna swing by my house around nine?”

  “Sure, that would be great. Mind if I invite Blaire and everyone?”

  “Nope, not at all. This party is going to be different from the last one. It won’t be only people from the country club. I think it’s time we let loose and have a little fun for a change.”

  Thank God, because I wasn’t sure I could handle another one of those boring parties. “Awesome, I’ll text you when I’m headed your way.” I leaned in and pecked him on the lips. His arms wrapped around me and pulled me in closer.

  “It’ll be like the party we met at. That night was fun, right?” he whispered against my ear.

  “Yeah, it was.” My mood lightened. Maybe things between us were fine; maybe I was just being paranoid. What is it people always say—those who are paranoid are those who have something to hide? I needed to get lost in Craig tonight and forget about Cameron, and whatever it was that I found attractive in him. My conscience was becoming too heavy for my liking.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CAMERON

  I didn’t want to head back to Craig’s house, but Eva had a date tonight with some random guy she’d met earlier in the week, so staying at her apartment seemed a little awkward—especially if she decided halfway through the night to bring him home. I didn’t want to cock block her and have her pissed as hell at me, even though she’d said I could stay at her place again. I’d told her I’d find other arrangements. This meant heading back to Craig’s parents’ place, because there was no way in hell I would be staying at my parents’ house—even though it was nothing much besides a hollowed-out shell now that Eva and I had packed it up. The idea to stay at a hotel for the night had crossed my mind, but honestly, being alone in a hotel room was the last place I wanted to be tonight too.

  Even though Craig was an asshat the majority of the time, at least I wouldn’t be one hundred percent alone at his place.

  After cutting a right into his driveway, I only made it a few feet farther before I noticed it was slammed with parked cars. Craig was throwing a party—a real party—and the little fucker hadn’t even mentioned it to me. A smile twisted at my lips. This was exactly what I needed right now. I’d promised Eva I would only have a few drinks tonight, and she’d reminded me yet again people shouldn’t drink when they’re down to get happy. They should drink only when they’re happy to get happier. I planned to think of today as a success and drink to get happier. Craig’s party would see to it.

  Pulling in behind a tiny gray car, I cut the engine. Climbing out, I shook my head and laughed, unbelieving the magnitude of this party. And to think, Scott and Candace were always pissed at me for throwing parties of this size at their place. Did they even know Craig was doing it too? I wondered how many of these he’d thrown over the years, and then questioned why the one I’d witnessed when I came into town had been so low-key and lame. Slamming my door shut, I locked my car and started toward the house.

  Music blasted through the open windows, gliding through the night and straight to my ears. It was rap. Rap was actually playing inside Craig Owens’s house. This was insane. Bodies crammed in like sardines were what I found when I opened the front door and stepped inside. Weaving my way through, I headed straight to where I assumed the alcohol would be—the kitchen. Craig stood at the counter, pouring a drink. My eyes grazed over the selection of liquors, beers, and wines sitting on the counter in tubs of ice. I walked up behind him and made myself a cranberry and vodka—not the manliest of drinks, but it was what I wanted.

  “Nice scene you’ve got going here. I’m impressed.” I squeezed in a few lime wedges that had been sitting in a bowl on the counter, and took a sip of my concoction while eyeing the sea of people occupying his parents’ living room. “What’s the occasion?”

  Craig flashed me a smug smile. “In need of a little fun, that’s all.” He turned and stared me down. His eyes were a little bloodshot, and I wondered how inebriated he was. This party seemed to be in full swing already and it was only about ten. “I don’t remember inviting your fucking ass though.”

  I nodded and matched his smirk. “That’s because you didn’t.”

  Paige came into the kitchen. She walked straight to Craig’s side and slipped her arm around his shoulders. “Cameron, hey! I didn’t know you were here!”

  I enjoyed the enthusiasm in her voice a little more than I should. When my eyes flicked to Craig’s, I could tell he’d caught on to what I was feeling and that he hated it with a fiery passion. “I just got here. Are you having fun? You look a little smashed, Paige.” I smiled, teasing her.

  She grinned and giggled. Her cheeks were flushed from the alcohol flowing through her veins, and her eyes were glossed over. She was still the sexiest I’d ever seen her—so vibrant and full of life. “I am. That’s my answer to both your questions.”

  Craig wrapped his arm around her tiny waist to pull her closer to him, and I felt my ribs squeeze my chest. I forced my eyes to drift elsewhere.

  “You wanna dance some more?” he asked her.

  “Yes!” she shouted.

  I’d never seen her so full of energy and outgoing. She was one of those rare women that drunk looked good on. She didn’t have some lazy eye going. She didn’t seem promiscuous or slutty. She didn’t turn into a bitch set out against the world. She was just fun. I liked that, and realized it was another thing about her I enjoyed. Tipping my drink back, I watched as she led Craig to the center of the main room. If I hadn’t already been captivated by the liveliness she gave off, then I would have been by her dance moves. Holy hell. The girl knew what she was doing and didn’t care who saw it. Tingles ran through my body, and I wondered what it wou
ld be like to place myself in a chair in front of her and have her give me a private show.

  Someone bumped into me from the side. I shifted out of his or her way, giving the person room to reach the alcohol cluttering the counter. When I brought my eyes back to Paige, her head was dropped low and Craig was staring at me from overtop her head while she grinded against him. He slid his hand down her flat stomach while still holding my gaze, as though he were proving to me that I could look, but I couldn’t touch—unlike him. Gritting my teeth, I dug in my front pocket for my pack of cigarettes. I headed toward the French doors that led out to the back porch to smoke.

  Even with the house windows open, the temperature outside was a stark contrast to indoors. I lit my cigarette, and then crammed my free hand into my front pocket to keep it warm. Fall was definitely here and the warmth of summer was nearly gone. This almost made me want to rethink my plan to stay in town. I hated the cold. I needed warmth and sunlight. Too many dreary days and too much cold weather depressed me, but so did being homeless and lonely. I was fucked all the way around. Taking a drag off my cigarette, I watched the smoke as it curled through the darkening sky and dissipated into nothing. My mind drifted back to Paige’s dancing and I chuckled.

  “What’s so funny?” a raspy female voice asked.

  I turned to find its owner and spotted a woman dressed in a short black dress with some serious fuck-me heels on. She was leaning against the beam of the pergola, staring at me. There was a cigarette in her right hand, and her head was tilted to the side as she waited for me to answer. Her long blond hair spilled over her shoulder and glistened in the dim light coming from the house.

  “Nothing,” I responded. “What are you doing out here all alone?”

  I wasn’t the most chivalrous guy, but I knew she shouldn’t be out here—drunk and standing alone in the dark—where any wasted asshole could force himself on her. She should be inside, surrounded by people, so nothing like that had even a glimmer of a chance of happening.